If you become a florist, make sure you practice fire safety. Plants can catch on fire easily.

Or, invest in a black mage that can cast watera/wateraga/blizzara/blizzaga against fiends.

A while back, there was a poetry contest advertised on facebook, so I decided to enter as an experiment. Today, my junk email box had two new messages.

I'm very aware of the tomfoolery that the internet pulls more than most people... I just wanted to see how the swindle was going to go down.

Here's how the swindle went down:

JERRY CONGRATULATIONS, YOUR POEM IS A SEMI FINALIST IN THE INTERNATIONAL CONTEST WE'RE DOING! IT WILL BE PUBLISHED IN OUR ANTHOLOGY THAT YOU CAN OWN FOR ONLY $50! YOU CAN ALSO HAVE A FULL ARTIST PROFILE ON THE PAGE NEXT TO IT FOR AN ADDITONAL $19!

Second coming of the swindle:

JERRY CONGRATULATIONS, YOUR POEM IS THE WINNER OF THE EDITORS CHOICE AWARD. TAKE PRIDE IN YOUR ARTISTIC ACHIEVEMENT WITH OUR SOCIETY'S UNIQUE SILVER WATCH FOR $119, MADE EXCLUSIVELY FOR EDITORS CHOICE RECIPIENTS!

Celebrate artistic achivement by spending one hundred and nineteen dollars on a watch.

Don't enter facebook poetry contests.